Choosing Love

Sometimes we hate the things a person does and love the things a person does but it doesn't mean we hate or love them - we have to choose it everyday.

Fixation

He had a hold on me
And yeah it's good to have rules and we wanted to be godly and that was great but all i can think about when looking back on it all is how I had to be a certain way.
I didn't want to disappoint him.
I had the pressure to be perfect.
I put that on myself.
I wasn't being true to myself.
And that scares me for the future.

The Game Called The Chase

I hate the game. The Game of the Chase. I always am the one to lose. I don't know if it is my impatient nature or if I'm just really curious to know if someone likes me, but I am ALWAYS the first to tell a guy I like them. I try and wait for the guy to tell me first, but then they don't. I have never been that girl that guys ask for their number or call beautiful or to be asked out on a date. I am that girl that gets friend zoned and I guess in a way it is my fault because I push for that. I always act like I love being single and I act like I would never date that person I like, but I guess I always want to see if the guy will fight for me anyways. If only they would come out and tell me they like me, but that never ends up happening.Even though I love my strong friendships, it would be nice for once for a guy to want to be with me.
- AMANDA :)

tests.tests.tests. school. school. school.

So I had to make up my Chemistry test today since I was sick on the actual test day. Since I was sick I was given the whole spring break to prepare for my TWO major science classes needed for my major (Nursing). I studied, but I felt like nothing was sticking, my mind was on vacation! Today it totally showed. :( I hate taking tests feeling all good and confident and then getting that lower score then expected. I think it is so much worst then going in thinking you are going to fail because then any score seems good at that point. I ended up getting a C which is better then my last test, but I thought I at least had a B or B minus. My teacher probably thinks I am a loser since I had the extra time over break to study.

Now my Anatomy exam is tomorrow and I am super nervous. I did so good on my lab practical (THANKS TO GOD!) and now I feel pretty confident for my lecture. I did look over my notes over break and have glanced at a couple things today, but my test is in the morning and I am just not feeling in the study mood. I am such a bad college student. (me and my habits :P) I hope I am as ready as I feel because if I don't get my grades in better shape (at least ALL B's) then I probably won't make it into the Nursing Program unless I am able to pick up the slack next year (with no room to mess up at all!!) SO NERVE RACKING! So thanks for listening to me vent and hope you have a wonderful day! :)
- AMANDA :)

About Me

I don't even know where to begin this adventure of blogging, but I know I WANT to do this. I am so bad at this, but let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am finishing up my first year of college and have been told that I am a resident assistant (RA) for the next school year. That means I get to decorate the halls and lounge, I get to live with a hall full of girls, and I get to be the person they go to for help. I am super excited, but so nervous at the same time. I am going to be swamped with school work, as a nursing major I have to take on a lot of pre-reqs before I can get into the big stuff. I am super excited to see what God has in store for this upcoming year and already want to start laying out my ideas for next year. So join me on my adventure and thanks for stopping by!